To Whom It May Concern:
RLDW
123 Somewhere
Hating Life, Arizona 90210
January 23, 2007
All Of RLDW’s Pants
Attn: Crotch Coverer
AKA: Mr. Zipper
690 South Button Street
Metal Haven, Arizona 66666
Dear Crotch Coverer:
Thank you for your attempt at covering all of RLDW’s bits and pieces while at work. We appreciate the work you do to keep our reputation as a hard working employee with good standing in the boss’ eyes. However, it seems as if you have lost focus on your employment objectives and your behavior is not acceptable.
Two days in a row your delinquency has been noted by a third party, via vocal representation in front of additional third-parties. This lack of attention to detail has left your backup, Miss P. Anties, as the sole bearer of responsibility. If this continues I will have to replace you with a more reliable system, including installing safety mechanisms with sub-contractor ‘UR SAFE! PINS’ or applying an additional internal layer of recovery through Mr. Duct Tape.
Please ensure that this message is received by your management. RLDW will continue to manage your metrics on a daily basis and report to your CEO if the service continues. We cannot allow for third-parties to note future breaches of crotch coverage. I urge you to revise your policies and procedures to ensure adequate support for your work objectives.
Sincerely,
RLDW
CEO and Internal Auditor
