Writing on the Wall

Having your dogs ruin you favorite rug because they think it would be a great idea to find 15 pens and chew on them directly over the rug.  I think that the blue spots all over the middle of the rug, in  a spot that I am not able to cover up, is the perfect place for you to leave your mark.  Please, ruin something of mine AGAIN.

Can anyone please tell me why it would take President Bush four days to respond to the Tsunami?  Why did he think the best option was to wait? Thousands of people are dead, many more are expected to die from epidemic and this man waits days to even say that he is sorry for the loss of life. 

My husband and I have been married for 14 months now.  I have enjoyed it very much and I know that I have married my true partner to experience all that life has to give. . . . blah blah blah.  But were young.  We’ve barely hit our middle twenties, Matt is still in school for his bachelor degree and I have foolishly thought that this was the year to start my MBA.  I am glad to have gone back and to get it out of the way now, but it really leaves no room for anything else in our lives. 

And this is what I am getting to.

Babies, children, fertilized eggs . . . . whatever you call the beginning of life is no where near happening in this womb.  And I am okay with this.  The idea of attempting to take on yet another “thing” in our lives that requires attention ,money and support is just all too much.  Crying, spitting up, feedings, diapers, and constant supervision sounds way too much like an adult activity.  Matt and I still enjoy sleeping 12 hours on the weekend, going out with friends until the wee hours of the morning and potentially not cleaning our shower for a few weeks.  I understand that these are all petty reasons for us to ever put off having children, but my thought is if I have any reasons to put it off then now is definitely not the right time.

However, this doesn’t mean that the question of the beginning of our own devil spawn family has not occurred every week since we have been married or even before we were married.  And unfortunately the family time spent during the holidays seems to multiply the questions.    So I have been trying to figure out an answer for the family to get them to stop asking for the time period before Matt and I have really started to accept the possibility of children in our future:

1.  I am infertile.  - I know, this is harsh, but it would stop the questions extremely quickly.

2.  I don’t want to pass on your family genes.  Matt and I are bad enough to pollute the world.  – All families have their dark and deep secrets, maybe this should stay one as well. (And I really don’t mean this.  Matt is a good looking chap, he should be allowed procreate to continue these good looks)

3.  I don’t want to have children until I can afford to buy him or her a BMW when they turn 16.  – I figure this is a prerequisite for children in the area we live as each person under 18 drives a better car than I do.

I couldn't resist this one . . . . .

When four of Santa's elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not
produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, Santa was beginning to
feel the pressure of being behind schedule.

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mom was coming to visit. This
stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were
about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven
knows where.

More stress.


Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the
toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.

So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a
shot of rum When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves
had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink. In his
frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into
hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor.

He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of
the broom

Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door. He
opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas
tree.

The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a
lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to
stick it?"





And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas
tree.

Vacation time. Don't we all look forward to it over the holidays?  I couldn't be more ready for a change of pace.  But my change of pace is looking forward to actually relaxing AFTER the holidays.  My hell is beter known as the next few days.  My husband and I celebrate 5 birthdays within 2 weeks of either side of Christmas, including my husband's.  He had the luck of being born on Christmas Eve.  So I call it my hell rather then our hell becuase every single fucking present I purchase for him comes within 2 days.  I dread spending the holidays in the malls trying to find enough stuff off of his list to fill his needs and still be fun, all without breaking the bank.

Did anyone else feel like this year was especially expensive for presents?  I myself cut back extensively on my buying.  Exactly what the economy wished that we weren't doing.  If only they could talk Banana Republic into being a little more cost effective.  Right now I can bet that they only pay 1% of their total fee to the poor workers in underpriveldged countries. 

But I digress.  These last few days, you will find me sitting in extra long lines attempting to find the perfect presents for my husband and my sister to finish off the gift giving season.  May you all find one bright moment in your day with a parking spot in the front and a happy sales person.  

 ~ RLDW

In honor of the upcoming holidays I thought I would include a funny joke that I couldn’t help but chuckle at.  Yes I am a child, and yes the stupid jokes get me the most.

So bear with me. 

    A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' mother's name?"  

    One child answered, "Mary."

    The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' father's name was?"

    A little kid said, "Virge."

    Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you get that?"

    The kid said, "Well, you know they are always talking about Virge n' Mary.