Writing on the Wall

You really have to love two dogs who don’t put up a fight when it comes to dressing them up in ridiculous outfits. 

Some find this cute.  Others would probably think that this is a cry for Matt and I have to children.  I am going for the cuteness.

Do books on tape count toward my resolution of reading 4 books in a year?  I have two lined up for the car, mainly because Matt had bought them for a class he was taking and I thought I would listen to them while I was driving.  But I didn’t know if it actually crossed the line for being valid for my resolution or not . . .

Back to this dang truck.  I really do love my parents for giving us the truck.  It is nice to have a vehicle that I am not scared if it will get me home or not.  I also love having a working CD player.  But I would have also preferred to not have a car that is possessed. 

Yes I said possessed.  I have thought about becoming catholic for one instance to get a priest to come over with his lackey to perform an exorcism. I am thinking that we could all encircle the beast while holding candles, praying that it doesn't decide to use its transmission fluid to cover us in green throw up. This truck has a mind of its own and tries to put its foot down when it is pissed. Case in point: my drive into work this morning. 

It is sprinkling here in Arizona.  When I say sprinkling I mean an occasional spiting on the ground that really only attaches the dirt onto your windshield.  These droplets of dirt and grime make it difficult to drive, mainly because I have an itchy finger to use my windshield wipers because they have never been used before. This was my mistake.  I turned the wipers on and they proceeded to go and go and go.  They wouldn't turn off.  I tried to turn them up and they kept going at the same consistent speed of faster than a speeding bullet and then stopped right in the middle of my windshield.  And then without hesitating would start up again.  For 15 minutes this continued while I drove down Dobson Road.  At one point I started to laugh because I found the incident quite funny and on the other hand I thought that maybe if I laughed the devil would make it stop. 

It was at this point that the volume on the radio started changing on its own.  At one moment the music would be blaring and the next I could barely hear it. Oddly, it would get louder with a good song, and quieter with the crap.  When it turned up I jumped in excitement like the devil was calling my name while throwing it's hands (eg: the wipers) up and down in my face on the windshield trying to get my attention.  I was stuck a Friday the 13^th movie with nowhere to go.   

I called my mother in laughter while this was going one to ensure that I had a witness in case I was struck down right there.  After her freak out of assuming I was crying instead of laughing with tears, she calmed down and found the humor in it. She later told me that when she talked to my father about the incident he said that he vaguely remembered a recall about such an item and he never paid attention to it because we were in Phoenix.

Thanks Dad. Remind me next time to ask a whole bunch of questions when I buy something off of you.

Just cause I have to show off my sister and her fabulous job at the marathon:

She kicked major ass for her first event and I already wrangled her into another half marathon in February.  Have I created a monster?

Just one other for good measure :)

~ RLDW

On Sunday, after spending the afternoon at UMOM putting on a Sunday School Special for the children at the homeless shelter, I came home to play with my nieces and nephews.  My husband is a far better player than I am.  The girls and boys love to tackle him and get him out in the grass to play.  But this Sunday we decided to follow my nephew and his father down to the very small man-made lake to watch them fish.

Our local park/lake has obstacle course-like apparatuses that are supposed to used to build a better and slimmer you.  Thinking that I am a healthy, strong person I decided that it was my turn to show off my skills. This is what I learned.

1. I can do one pull up and then have to drop in pain from the weight.
2. Swinging makes me excessively light headed
3. Hanging up-side-down is not fun, nor does it feel good
4. The people who can complete sit-ups while up side down obviously have to take steroids because there was no way that I could lift my head once.
5. Husbands are required to be near to pull you off the bar that you are hanging up side down from as fear from hitting your head on the ground
6. I was never meant to jump any fences

The last references a bruise the size of a small fist, which was mostly caused by the fact that Matt had to push my big ass over the fence when I couldn’t get up it.  And then with all of my force to help I kicked the wall with my shin.  Its lovely.

Next time I try to act like a 5-year old, remind me to keep my feet glued to the ground.  My body can’t take it anymore.

Will you ever be able to spell?  I just have to know what I am looking into the future at.  Will it always be quaduate and not graduate?

By the way: HAS and AS are not interchangeable.  And I love you. Just thought I would throw that in for good measure.

We have lost another legend.  Jonny Carson is gone at 79.  I remember watching him late at nights while I was growing up.  It was always too late in the evening for me to be awake, so I would try to sneak in the time while my parents didn't notice.  And I would laugh and laugh at all of the joke (most I wouldn't understand).  His humor and timing will be greatly missed. I wish his family peace during this time as I am sure millions and millions of fans are wishing as well.

Hope your 26th year is better than all the past years combined!

~ RLDW

(I recognize I am a day early - sue me.)

Who thought I would be the idiot who would never follow through, be a complete lazy asshole and then have it cause her to be potentially thrown in jail? 

I bought a truck off of my parents two weeks ago.  This was a good thing for Matt and I as it allowed us to get rid of my older than dirt car.  I drove this really nice Nissan Maxima, which treated me very well for 6 long years.  But being that it had 130,000 miles on it, and was from 1993, it was time for her to be sent on for her next life.

So I thought the very best thing for us was to buy my father's truck.  It is a 1998 Chevy Truck with only 47,000 miles on it.  I figured this is something that Matt and I could drive until we purchased an SUV for the expansion of our family.  Plus my parents were wiling to give it to us for a deal.  We were happy with the new truck and decided to get the title changed to our name.  The process for taking the title of a car has recently changed in Arizona.  When you sell a car you are supposed to keep the license plate.  Then the person gets new plates when they change the title over at the Motor Vehicle Division. 

But being that my parents are very sweet people, they left the license plates on, saying that we could give them back when we wanted.  So Matt and I changed the title and got the new license plates, but WE NEVER PUT THEM ON.  It was raining the day that we did the title and who wants to stand outside with rain pouring down (read: sprinkling) while they are holding a screwdriver.  It is like begging for lightning.

So it gets worse when I admit I then never changed them.  Until tonight that is.  Every Friday night I go to pizza with my family.  We meet at my parent's house and drive in caravan style over to the pizza joint.  Seems that a cop pulled up behind me when I got into a turn lane and ran the plates on the truck.  They came back as not valid so he assumed the person behind the wheel had stolen the truck.  He proceeded to pull me over, IN FRONT OF MY ENTIRE FAMILY, and stand far away from the truck with the spotlights bearing down on the back of my neck. The only family member that pulls over: my parents.  Oh not my husband, but my parents.  Shows who loves me the most eh?

I rolled down the window and in my sweetest Midwestern accent begged for mercy, handing him my registration, license, insurance, and the new license plate with tags on it and everything. My mother runs out of the SUV trying to figure out what is going on and the policeman growls her back to her car.  He left me for a few minutes to probably mock me from behind the car and check out my story, then came back and handed me my stuff while muttering under his breath, "put the license plate on the truck". 

yes sir. 

And I am officially the most absent minded person of all.

I have this present that my girlfriend gave to me probably 7 to 8 years ago, like right as we were starting college.  She probably doesn’t remember that she gave it to me, as it would probably be one of those gifts that was so inconsequential and unmemorable that no one would list it on their top lists of gift giving. 

Everyday I carry to work a CD case.  It isn’t like all of the other CD cases.  It is made out of an old license plate from Tennessee, with the city “Shelby” listed at the bottom.  I love it because it is really different from what other people carry and it also really hard (obviously because of the license plate) so the package puts up with my clumsiness.  It fits nicely in my NSync lunch box, next to my microwavable meal and two pieces of fruit.

I bring it to and from work every day with different CDs that I am craving because of my mood.  The shiny white case sits on my desk throughout the day for easy access.  And without doubt, every single day I get a complement on it.  And every day I am surprised that people notice this little CD case.  It starts out innocent with “What is that, a purse?” and then I go into my very long answer about how it was a gift from a friend and how I have carried it with me for so long that the snap is almost about to break off and I don’t know how to replace it.

At any rate, I know that I never say thank you enough for the things friends and family do for me.  I really do notice it all and use everything that I am given, because your heart was put into finding something that I would truly love and you just can’t look over that.  It is wonderful to have people in my life that know me better than I know myself and make sure I am as happy as I hope I try to make them as well.