Writing on the Wall

Have a great week everyone!  I will be out until most likely July 3rd, at which time you will all be happy to hear from me and wishing me a fantastic BIRTHDAY.  I hate to admit it, but I am getting older.  And this one doesn't hurt nearly as bad.

Have a great week.  Wish for great weather, no sunburns and lot of hilarious stories about my swimsuit coming off, posion ivy, or something else that is as funny.

~RLDW

The following list are links that I love and you should check out while I am gone. I needed to leave you all with entertianment since I won't be around for an entire week.  The tears!  The crying!  You will all surely be sad.

If you aren't into god, you should at least know a little bit about the freaking bible.  The following is by far the best way to learn all those little stories that everyone tries to tell you about and goes right over your head.

http://www.thebricktestament.com/

(this guy makes it)

I thought I might pee my pants with this one, yes it is also god related, but worth it for ANYONE:

http://www.tian.cc/2005/02/baby-got-book-by-sir-reads-lot.html

I have fondly thought about my caffine addiction.  It will be the one thing that I will leave this earth with is knowing that I died happy. But if you would like to know eactly which Diet coke will kill you, visit here:

http://www.punkasspunk.com/caffeine.php

Today I decided for some ridiculous reason that I need to get my groove on and purchase a couple of items.  This included:

The strapless towel tops everyone is wearing.  I got mine at Kohls.  Cause you know I am made of MONEY.  I have found though that these tops are HOT.  Tonight I wanted to be cool while I worked on my paper at home and I put my black one on (because I so bought it in green as well) and the amount of sweat coming from underneath my boobs was UNBELIEVABLE.  I am the freaking Niagra Falls right now dying in our computer room.  So I stole the fan from our bedroom and put it on Ocean Breeze and everything is better.

The second item I bought is a new pair of sunglasses.  There must be a rule with sunglasses that as soon as you fall in love with a pair you must immediately lose them and cry about it for three days until you go buy a cheap pair at the store.  I went from my favorite Target pair to a pair made by none other than Daisy Fuentes.  Yeap DAISY.  But I like them and they will do.  But I will bet I will NEVER LOSE THEM cause the former MTV Veejay doesn’t have it going on like the tarjet boutique.

Lastly I bought myself a rock star hat.  You know the hat that everyone is wearing real low (a la Brevin on their ‘Chaotic’ show) that looks like a cross between a bolero hat and your moms favorite gardening hat.  I love it, but I am pretty sure Matt will be sick of it in about 7 seconds.  But who cares, he already married me.

Don’t worry, you will see me proudly wearing all items together in a picture that will be posted after the trip to Arkansas.  I am sure that I will be found on the back of a speed boat relaxing while look damn fine.

In honor of my father’s birthday this week I have the following joke (names have been changed to protect the innocent):

Hearing Test

An elderly gentleman feared his wife was getting hard of hearing. So one day he called her doctor to make an appointment to have her hearing checked. The doctor made an appointment for a hearing test in two weeks, and meanwhile there's a simple informal test the husband could do to give the doctor some idea of the state of her problem.

"Here's what you do," said the doctor. "Start out about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response."

That evening the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he's in the living room. He says to himself, I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens.

Then in a normal tone he asks, "Honey, what's for supper?" No response.

So the husband moved to the other end of the room, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for supper?" Still no response.

Next he moved into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, "Honey, what's for supper?" Again he gets no response.

So he walks up to the kitchen door, only 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for supper?" Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for supper?"

"For goodness sakes Ned, for the fifth time, CHICKEN!"

Happy 62^nd birthday dad.  May social security treat you well.

I will admit right here and right now.  I voted for Joey McIntyre tonight.  5 times from my phone, 5 times from Matt's phone.  And I tried when I got home from AfricanKelli's and I had missed the cut off.  I recognize that some of you may think that the dancing show is ridiculous.  I like it.  Although I will say Trista should have in no way been kicked off before Evander.  He sucked and she was fabulous. 

I would also like to point out that surprisingly Joey McIntyre is only 32.  Here is some supporting documentation for those of you who think I am lying. Who would have thought?  I so thought when I was younger and loving NKOTB that he was much much older then me.  Now those 6 years really seem like absolutely nothing.  And it is shocking to think how long he has been in the business.  Wild. 

Lastly I had two glasses of wine.  If you all think I have lost my rocker.  Blame the booze she poured down my throat :)

Every now and then you have to clean your computer screen. But what about the inside of your screen? How do you clean that? Fortunately, there is now a website that does that remotely at no cost to you.

First, clean the outside of your screen. Then click or copy the link below into your browser to clean the inside. You have to do this. It's very helpful.

 http://www.bassfiles.net/cleanscreen.swf

Matt and I made a trip to the local Super Target.  I was in search of a bathing suit (YEAH RIGHT), Matt for a father’s day present (I recognize a day late – his parents were on a bike rally and so we put it off until tonight.  Sue me.).  After I cried in the fitting room I left to console my heart with new music. 

Matt and I couldn’t remember the last time we had bought music so we stood there just looking at it all and slightly hyperventilating.  I had wanted so many and I couldn’t decide which was the most important to purchase at this time.  So Matt got 2 new CDs and I got 1.  We will start with Matt’s because I think his is more benign and loved by more people.  He got the new Dave Matthews Band CD, which he has been remiss in not having and has wanted oh so badly, and the Garden State soundtrack.  During our trip to Arkansas this next week we will be listening to both CDs while I sleep.  I don’t know what it is but I snore through anything Matt buys, so relaxing and good, but I nod off with the best of them while I listen.  This was part of the reason I was okay with his choices because I will want something to keep him awake and something that lets me drool on the leather.

I purchased myself the One Tree Hill soundtrack.  Now I know I know, you might be thinking “Dear god will she ever grow up and get a life that doesn’t involve some show where the kids try to live adult lives when they are 14.”  The answer – screw you, no. But let me give you a taste of the oh-so wonderful songs on this CD so that you might understand how freaking cool I actually am:

Gavin DeGraw – “I Don’t Want to Be” (the show’s theme)

Story of the Year – “Sidewalks”

Keane – “Everybody’s Changing” (I really like Keane)

Butch Walker – “MixTape” (which is really funny and we have all thought the way this song goes)

Sheryl Crow – “The First Cut is the Deepest” (how can you not LOVE Sheryl, especially with those abs)

I wanted to get something with the songs that I like without the investment of all of the CDs and you know how you freak out when you buy a new CD and the only song you like is the song you bought it for?  I kept thinking as I held another CD in my hand “but you already like all of these songs and you don’t own this CD, and you don’t know what the hell you are going to get on this piece of crap.”  So I bought the soundtrack.  And I highly recommend for anyone looking for good music that has a high enough self esteem to endure the ridicule that comes along with the love of the WB. 

·        Edgar Killen can rot in hell.  Racist pig.

·        Thank god they found the Boy Scout.  Poor guy. 

·        I don’t have a ‘working’ bone in my body today.  I want to live in my bed.

·        Bathing Suits are obviously only in existence to make my body look like a large cup of cottage cheese with fat rolling over the top (and my boobs fall out).  I am all for the gunnysack.

·        I am disappointed that Mr. Bush is trying to bring back the gay marriage amendment.  He sickens me to the point sometimes that I just want to scream.  Can he please go sit with Edgar for a while?

So I have to get my car emissions tested.  I have been putting it off for the last two weeks because I am thinking it is going to be AWFUL.  Hot and sticky, pain in my rear, waiting in line mess.  I am usually worried for no reason that I am going to have some sort of problem that it going to cost me roughly $75,000 to fix (because you know a Chevy S-10 truck cost that much to begin with) and put me in the hole. But look at how cool Arizona has gotten!

http://www.azdeq.gov/environ/air/vei/station.html

You can see all of the available sites AND if you click on the link they tell you the current wait times!  This is the coolest EVER. 

This has taken some of my anxiety away and I am leaning toward calm.  I know I know, getting ahead of myself. I am going to go tonight and see if I can take care of this boil on my back.  WOO HOO!

P.S. - It took me SEVEN minutes.  That is awesome!