Writing on the Wall

1. You don’t remember what it is like to run, bike or swim
2. You’re dogs don’t move from their spot on your husbands lap when you walk in the door
3. Pre-made meals sound good because you don’t have to stop and make them
4. Your husband has started making plans that don’t consider you and your schedule
5. Your cell phone has been running out of power not because you have left it on for 5 days in a row in your purse growing dust, but rather from all the talking you are doing in the car
6. You get excited that your desk at work gets reconfigured to allow you to see out the door of your cube instead of to the back corner
7. You have memorized the cafeteria menu

"Well I stopped dating her becuase she liked me too much"

"Right, becuase I always want to date girls tha don't like me that much."

"Stop it.  You know what I mean."

"No, really, I don't.  You are a jackass."

Ah. Honesty at its finest.

So I watch Big Brother, BIG DEAL.  I do have to say though that I HATE APRIL.  She is absolutely awful.  She has made up total lies about people, has treated everyone outside of her circle like SHIT and doesn't deserve to be on the show.  Period.  In fact, lets get rid of that whole 'friendship' circle becuase THEY SUCK. Why do I even waste my time. . . .

I freaking LOVE KASAR!  He so should have stayed in there for the HOH.

Matt and I will be heading to Las Vegas this weekend for a little get away before we head into the full swing of school.  This has been a regular trip for him with the boys for some years now.  This year I get to go as we are staying with one of the boy’s girlfriend. In honor of this trip I thought I might take a moment to spell out some of the rules of Vegas to make your trip most enjoyable.

1. Don’t throw up on another person.  Rather ensure that you hit a trash can and have another drink ready to go so you can mask the nasty breath and party on. Preferably WATER.
2. Bring a pair of flip flops with you to the bar so that when you have to walk the mile back to your hotel your feet aren’t bleeding by the time you return.  Although I know some people have walked barefoot (lizard) it probably isn’t the SAFEST thing to do (however it could be preempted by actions that led you to #1).
3. ‘What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas’ is a lie.  Do you know how many people have told me that they have seen pictures of me holding a penis cup while I stood in front of a Julius Caesar statue!  Parents, Grandparents, husbands alike – no one really EVER keeps their mouth shut so don’t think you can get away with it. 

There are plenty of other really good rules, like make sure that you visit O’Shea’s, You have to go to the Beach, and understand that 10 drinks will cost you $200 at a bar.  But I know that you will enjoy it and have PLENTY of great memories, and other no so fond memories.  However they are all worth it.

If Bush would only jump off a cliff before then and we could get rid of the Dick. . . . But until then lets enjoy a little humor:

http://michaelhodges.com/stuff/funny/2008cc1.swf

- RLDW

My husband is one of the sweetest people I know.  He would do anything to make me happy.  He is warm, loves children, is patient, and is an unbelievable listener.  But he does have his faults as well.  Matt cannot spell to save his soul.  His grammar is awful and I have to read his emails 4 or 5 times before they make much sense.  Once AfricanKelli gave him a book called "21 days to better English." I am pretty sure that the book is meant for non-English speakers, but Matt usually fits that category so all was well.  Today I received an email from him with many many mistakes and it took me a while to get through the majority.  He had spelled cynical 'cenicle', and had a few other issues. But then I came upon this statement: "It is captious to ask them to come with us and spark a needed debate."  My initial reaction was laughter in that he made up a word.  What the heck is captious?  What did he mean by such a statement?  How can this be correct?  So I called to make fun of him.  And what do you know he stood by his statement.  So I pulled out the good old online dictionary and what do you know, it is a WORD.

captious   (KAP-shuss)

     1 : marked by an often ill-natured inclination to stress faults and raise objections

    *2 : calculated to confuse, entrap, or entangle in argument

And it worked in his sentence.  How is this possible!  Tears came down my face in hilarity because 1 – he should have so focused the definition of this statement at me for pointing out his faults so much and 2 – this was truly a momentous occasion and I couldn't' believe he was actually right. 

But it gets better.  I came to find out he has been getting emails with words of the day.  He is cheating and actually using the words they send him.  I about peed my pants when he let go of that little secret.  But god bless him for trying.  Maybe I need to not be so cenicle. 

Did you see that Paris Hilton dropped her dog tinkerbell for a smaller version?  Yes this is right, the girl dumped the dog she frantically searched for last year because the dog got fat.  I can't believe it.  She has got some balls.  I do have my moments when I wonder why we got dogs, but I just can't imagine life without them now that we have them.  How can you just drop an animal because you fed it crap?  Paris might want to think of the precedence she is starting with her future husband. . . .

Say, "Please.  We have more baggage combined than a Louis Vuitton Store."

Oh my, it is a wonder that I kept my pee in. 

It is about time you get your butt back here Amanda.  We missed you! Keep that job in line and make them rethink EVER sending you again.  You are too valuable to have so far away.

I got 8 of 10 correct! (I don't know if this is a good thing or not)

 BY LOOKING AT A PICTURE OF A PERSON, YOU HAVE TO DECIDE IF HE IS A COMPUTER GEEK OR A SERIAL KILLER. GO WITH YOUR GUT FEELING AND CLICK ON YOUR CHOICE. THERE ARE 10 PHOTOS. YOUR SCORE WILL BE GIVEN AT THE END

KILLER QUIZ  http://www.malevole.com/mv/misc/killerquiz/

It is kind of creepy how the serial killers blend.  I mean all I work with are computer programmers. . . .